I knew what I wanted well before I got here.
Meet a girl, get her to fall for me, marry her, then start a family.
Everything outside of that would just be icing on the cake.
Money would be cool.
Building a business would be sweet.
Traveling the world would be great.
But more than anything, I just wanted to be a Family Man.
What I didn't realize back then (but have come to understand) is that the title of Family Man comes with a bunch of other stuff, too:
Protecting.
Providing.
Stress.
Bills.
Leading the family through hard times.
Nights of little to no sleep (and going to work anyway).
Poop explosions.
Emotional explosions.
Waking up and realizing you've lost yourself in all of the above.
It can be a lot. But it doesn't have to be.
That's what I'm here for.
The work of becoming a family man can be messy (literally and figuratively), but I've been diving into the depths of it for awhile now.
Through years of study, thousands of dollars invested into mentors who supported me as I grew, and my life experiences, I've been able to grow and evolve to the extent that I now coach and lead family men like yourself.
And here are 3 things that you need to know, understand, and implement if you're trying to enjoy the glory that comes with our title.
1. Being selfless isn't the most loving thing to do.
Have you ever had anyone ask you what your "why" is? As in, "Why do you work as hard as you do? What drives you?"
It's a powerful thought exercise, but most of the guys I coach always come back to their family. They are the reason that the men that I lead do what they do.
But it can become a slippery slope.
If we give everything to them without first taking care of ourselves we will inevitably lose ourselves in the mix.
And when you lose yourself, you'll eventually resent the people or circumstances that caused you to go missing: your family. You know, the ones that you said you were doing all of this for.
So make sure you're taking care of yourself while you give back to those you care about.
Meditate.
Exercise.
Read some books (or quality articles like this one!).
Get out in nature.
Don't wait until you've donated all of your energy to your family to finally sit back and take care of you.
It won't end well.
2. How you feel matters.
Men and emotions tend to mix like oil and water. We've never been trained to actually feel our feelings. We've actually been taught to run the hell away from them.
But when you're trying to create a life full of joy, freedom, and love...
Holding onto resentment, anger, or overwhelm won't allow you to move forward very fast.
All those feelings you've been carrying around and refusing to address are going to keep you stuck in the mud.
Whether it be trying to make more money, win more business, or lose some weight...
Repressed emotions will slow you down.
So feel the anxiety, the frustration, the grief. Let the overwhelm be acknowledged. Allow yourself to speak about your depression.
Because then you can release that which has been holding you back.
And you can actually provide and create the life you want for you and your family.
3. Having other men in your corner is essential.
Repeat after me: Isolation is poison.
Get some quality men around you.
We all have boys.
The guys that we grew up with.
The dudes we kicked it with in college.
The fellas that we drank and played fantasy football with.
But not many of your beer pong buddies are going to hold you down and challenge you to be at your best as a husband and father.
Boys keep things surface level.
Men dig deep to support each other through the thick of life.
Rolling on your own can be isolating.
Having boys around you but not feeling safe to talk about your dreams or your fears is just as isolating.
That's one of the main reasons I created the Conscious Collective.
I guide and lead men through the work that I do as a men's coach every single day.
I see the loneliness.
I see the solitude.
I see the isolation.
So I created a men's membership that creates community and camaraderie, while still providing live coaching and support to the group every single week.
A crew of incredible men to hold you down
AND
Live support from me to help you move through life as a family man with ease.
Check it out here.
There you have it, my man.
Be more selfish and less selfless.
Express and process your emotions.
Get an amazing crew around you like the Conscious Collective.
Fly high, family man. Fly high.
Talk soon,
Nick
